Tiptoeing Up the Second Mountain
Tour guides at my alma mater often brag that Mr. Rogers, our most famous alum, launched his career after repeated encounters with a “life is for service” plaque engraved on a campus performance hall.
Although the concept is simple – putting the needs of others before our own – living a life of service is deceptively challenging in our me-first, materialistic world.
At least I’ve struggled with it.
After spending a decade in New York, I learned the hard way that promotions or facial serums or tasteful workout sets did not – and would never – yield lasting satisfaction.
Fortunately, in navigating the ensuing existential crisis back home in Pittsburgh, I discovered that these attempts at transcendence-via-self advancement were normal. David Brooks calls the strategy “climbing the first mountain.” It is a path focused on personal achievement, social status, and material gain, and, spoiler alert, leads mostly to SSRIs, credit card debt, and low-level addiction.
Brooks posits instead that true meaning comes from climbing the second mountain – from serving others and finding a purpose outside of personal ambition and/or toning one’s stabilizer muscles.
To find a foothold on that higher path, I followed Mr. Rogers to Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, his second institute of higher learning. There, I am studying the spiritual underpinnings of service and learning to take action coming from love.
It is not an easy pocket to find.
In relating to the world’s great need, I tend to fluctuate between overwhelm, guilt, and dissociation, or self-righteousness, codependency, and resentment. In one scenario, I read the news, hate myself for not volunteering, and return to scrolling on my phone. In the other, I fancy myself a savior, become overly involved in a project, get tired and/or indignant when others don’t recognize my contributions.
Through trial and error, I am stumbling into the proper posture. Service must come from a genuine desire to contribute to another human whose fundamental dignity you affirm. It is not a project to validate the ego.
To practice, I am taking baby steps to spread goodness to my immediate environment. Although these little practices might sound tone deaf or obvious, they are working to wedge open the ol’ heart. In case anyone wants to join, I am publicly committing to:
Greeting Strangers. While walking around the city, I have started saying hello to everyone I encounter. Maybe it’s just that ~first sip feeling~, but I believe it’s possible to repair our social fabric with a simple “good morning.” The next phase of this project involves sustained eye contact. Real talk: I am not there yet.
Delivering Dinner. Many humans in my life are facing big transitions – having kids, caring for aging parents. Several weeks ago, I delivered some dinners and was amazed by the impact of a few foil pans. I have made a list of future recipients and plan to spend subsequent Sundays prepping and packaging.
Body Doubling. On the topic of low lift, high utility interventions, I now proactively volunteer to “body double” for friends and acquaintances. It is the simple act of sitting next to someone while they undertake daunting tasks – paying overdue bills, organizing their desktop, doing anything insurance-related. The ministry of presence is real!
To be sure, I also plan to take bigger steps like attending The Salon’s events this season and find a new weekly volunteer commitment (anyone willing to body double that for me?). Multi-faceted action is vital to sustain the climb up the second mountain. As they say, you don’t think yourself into a new way of living, but live yourself into a new way of thinking.
I am both excited and daunted to recap this transformation on a monthly basis. See you in October.
-Alexis O.
